Sep 14

14 Sep, 2026

• decide to start this since Sep.13 night, when I binged two froyos, three packs of snacks given from friends, 12 packs of seaweed and a bunch of frozen fruits unvoluntarily.

• also a lot of stuff has happened since summer 2026.

• for some reason I am more anxious at school instead of working.

• As for 9.14.2026:

some things coming up are:

before got out of bed:

1. Harmony quiz that I haven't started review
2. 15-451 Midterm in 2 days, was not on track for reviewing

happened during the day:

1. regret about the binging yesterday
2. had a 95-422 gen-ed presentation
3. heard from TikTok intern mentor asked about did i hear from company, and asking me "did i copy data and programs when finishing up intern"
4. ordered Chipotle online, but there's a fucking fire alarm happening, and i can't pick my food in unknown amount of time
5. had to wait at starbucks, but anxiety hits so i was fighting the urge of soothing feelings with food
6. my review plan got disrupted because of 1.5 hour late of chipotle
7. ate another bowl of froyo, felt bad about the workout goal that i was thinking yesterday
8. more worrying about TikTok return offer, had several convo with intern partners and friends when max anxiety hits

Some post-mortem thoughts:

• honest biological reaction:

1. heart beating extremely fast
2. can't breathe properly
3. brain felt like getting kidnapped or life was threatened

Some actions I took to save:

• decide not to associate food with anxiety anymore

1. alternative: 跳一跳小游戏
2. can't think of anything else as honestly the feeling felt too strong like i will die without thinking about it
3. In terms of weight loss, Only Fixate on the Goal, keep thinking being in shape is my goal, I want to be in shaped, instead of anything threatening.

Now its 7:55PM and i have to review 15-451. Will try to document more things